The relationship ended, Cynder and I moved out, the girls had to split up and I was finally ready to start dating again. It would take a little time for me to be comfortable with the idea of finding something serious again, and to be honest, the way that the guys interacted with Cynder was a big thing for me as to whether or not the relationship would go any further. Whilst I was enjoying the type of life that being a mid-twenties, gay man could provide I always considered Cynder in whatever I did.
A few simple rules were in place to ensure that she was never put out by the situation:
- No sleeping on the bed: Cynder always sleeps in the laundry at night, this means she wouldn’t be displaced if the other side of the bed was to be occupied for the evening (a rare occasion I tell you! Honest!)
- Cynder comes first: No matter what I was doing that evening I would always come home, ensure Cynder had a walk, fresh water and was fed before going anywhere. She was always number one priority.
- Staying in: I wouldn’t always go out, rather encourage staying in to hang out, chat, watch a movie and play with Cynder. This also gave valuable insight into how the guy interacted with Cynder and therefore whether I thought the relationship would work.
There was a stage where I was sort of ‘involved’ but what really put me off was the way they felt towards Cynder. She wasn’t allowed to be the normal, excited puppy she was and they didn’t seem to understand much about dogs in general. Ultimately that didn’t end up going anywhere, which is kind of good because that was around the time David swept back into my life.
Our story began in 2011 when we first met, randomly, at my work. I was working as a cashier at a supermarket and D and I got talking one night about nothing in particular. I was a completely different person back then, I was still with A and living with undiagnosed depression. After that first meeting D returned to thank me for taking the time to care that night, he had been having a shit day and I really helped cheer him up, after that we would just talk every time we saw each other. I never knew why, but I would always get really shy around him. When I left that job to go full time at the shelter I guess we both thought we would never see each other again.
Fast forward to the middle of Jan this year, I had moved out on my own with Cynder and through the magic that is dating apps, David and I found each other again. The first time he met Cynder was the real test, but from the instant she jumped all over him, licked his face and nipped his nose I knew this was going to go far. He played with her as if she was his own dog, he never ignores her and in fact sometimes will realise he hasn’t said hello to her yet and go out and play ball with her.
He’s her buddy and she’s figured that out as well. She’ll drop the toy on his lap or at his feet and encourage him to play with her and she isn’t left wanting. The best thing about it is that D understands how important Cynder is to my life and makes her a big part of his own. He considers her in things that we do, suggests places we can all go, comes to training with us and understands the dynamic: he’s her buddy but there are still rules.
What more could a boy ask for? How have your pets coped when you’ve started seeing someone new? How did you make it easier for them? Leave a comment below or let me know on Facebook!